Where a Kid can be a Kid

Well, today is February 23rd. This is a special day because it is the day 4 years ago that Nathaniel officially joined our family. He is a very sweet little boy and very compliant (most of the time) There were many inquiries as to what he would want for his birthday and it was hard for me to come up with anything specific because he tends to be happy with whatever he is presented with.

For his party we had a long debate over where to go. Josh was pulling for bowling, but at only 35 pounds it's hard to imagine Nathaniel having much fun trying to throw a 6 pound ball down a lane and Joel and I knew that Chuck E. Cheese would be more his speed. Plus every time we talked about bowling he kept saying that Papa would just play for him and it would be so fun! Not sure Papa would agree.

We didn't book a party at the house of mouse and assumed it would be no big deal to show up and find a table (for 14 of us!) and boy was that wrong! This past Sunday was by far the busiest I've ever seen any Chuck E. Cheese in my entire life, but somehow my father-in-law used his magical social skills and got us a table (while others were waiting in line) in the party room.

So here are a few pictures of the 4 year old and his wonderful party.

Waiting for our pizza watching the animitronic CEC mouse.

Naomi posing for the camera.

Riding the roller coaster.

Joshua competing in the Kentucky Derby!
Naomi's turn, look at that intense concentration!

Sam enjoying his ride with Barney.

Josiah Happy to be with his family and eating pizza.Rebekah just got off the "big" slide.Bubba playing air hockey with mom.Cousin Nick enjoying himself as much as a 12-year-old can.

Dad, passing out the tokens.
A rare picture of Papa, almost smiling ;)
Gramma and Sam watching the gifts being opened.

Don't ask me why he wanted a sail boat cake, he wanted chocolate with strawberries and when he saw the sail boat in my cake book his mind was made up. So I obliged and made him his sail boat :) Happy Birthday Bubba, it's hard to believe your 4!

Strategic Plan

Let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.
~ Romans 12:6, The Message

In light of the last several posts, I felt like this verse just spoke to me. I know that The Message is not a true translation, but the truth in the words resonated with me.

How is your 2010 going so far? Surprisingly ours is moving forward at a nice pace. On our cruise in December Joel and I read a book The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni. In this book he talks about running your family the way you run a business, which may sound cold, but the idea is to have plans and objectives for your family and personal life instead of just cruising through life without direction.

So, we came home from the cruise and made a Strategic Family Plan. It took us a month or so to nail down where we wanted to be headed over the next several months. We wrote a mission statement, came up with a rallying cry and defined objectives that we want to see prioritized in our actions over the next several months. Our plan has been in place for about 3 weeks and it has been freeing to know where we are headed. The point of all of this is to help in decision making for your family to help determine what is "good" but may not be "best"

There are many examples in the book about families choosing to give up things for a time or maybe forever if it doesn't fit in with their mission statement or defining objectives. It's definitely a very managerial way of looking at your family, but so far has proven to be helpful. It is pointing us in the direction we would like to go, kind of a rudder on the ship of life.

Once a week, for us on Monday nights, we sit down and have a short 10 minute "meeting" to go over our strategic plan and discuss if we are moving forward in the areas we want to or if we need to readjust and change some priorities.

I feel like the verse above in Romans relates to this idea of strategic planning because it helps us to just be ourselves, who we are, who God created us (as a family) to be and not to worry about what the ______'s are doing as a family. Not only had God created us each individually to be different, but he created our families to be and to be run differently. There is often a charge to find out what God had called us individually to be or do with our lives, but I've not heard too many encouragements to find the calling for our families. I also feel like gaining a sense of direction as a family unit has helped me to personally define some of my priorities and objectives.

We were able to check the book out at our local library. I wouldn't say this is a "you have to own this book" but it is a quick and easy read and has really brought some clarity to our lives. There have been mixed reviews from others who have read it, some positive, some less enthusiastic about Lencioni's writing style, but it is an easy read and everyone I've talked to has walked away with the feeling that making a plan for their families is indeed a good idea.

So go on being who you are and don't worry about comparing yourself to others. You are unique and that makes you special.

Super Sunday

I found it interesting the response to the previous posts. There are several people who have commented that I don't blog anymore, yet they didn't comment on the blog addition. Where did you go?

Generally speaking men's reaction to the information was very positive, while women's reactions was more worried for me. Maybe it's the nurturing part of women? I had several women who were generally concerned that I was losing it.

The most encouraging comment I received was that the information was merely information and it's very healthy to get the truth out as long as it didn't fall into judgment of myself. I honestly didn't feel like I was judging myself in most areas, just stating facts, but women tended to see it as being judgmental while men took it merely as facts.

Yes I may have had a tendency to focus on the "negative" instead of the positive aspects of my personality, but I was just trying to be honest and fight the perception that I'm the perfect homeschooling mother whose home is always clean, my kids never fight, or never watch T.V. ect, ect, ect. . . So for me it was good and freeing and that's all I'm going to say about that.

I don't have anything profound for today, just some pictures of the kids on Super Bowl Sunday. It's been awhile since I've posted pictures and thought you might enjoy looking them over. Hope all of your Sunday's were Super!

Josiah and Joshua snuggled on the couch watching the action.
Nathaniel, Naomi and Rebakah coloring during the game, much more entertaining.
Samuel hanging out at the bottom of the stairs, remote in hand.

and a few others. . .

Start with the post below, then come up to this after, it'll make more sense that way :)

Edit to add: I thought of a few others . . .

I yell at my kids, not all the time, but more often than I should.

My favorite thing every day is checking the mail. I truly stalk the mailman. Our mail is never in the box for more than about 5 minutes unless I'm not home when he comes, I go crazy on holidays checking it repeatedly forgetting it's not coming. We don't get anything exciting in the mail, mainly junk, but I love it anyway.

I also obsessively check our bank account about 7 times a day either online or via phone teller. They only post transactions twice a day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon, but I always check just to make sure.

My kids don't know how to ride a 2 wheel bike. The older 3 are 7, 6, and 5 so I feel like they should, but they can't.

Who am I?

I feel like I often hide behind the perception of me that other people have. Many of their perceptions are false. Here is the truth of who I am.

Wife

Mother

Woman

Yet I don’t think I’m good at being any of these.

I’m 31 and married to a man who is 30, my kids and husband love to razz me about being the oldest member of the family.

I've been married for 11 1/2 years to my high school sweetheart. We got married at 18 and 19 and I love him more than I ever thought possible.

I’m introverted, I usually only leave the house because I have to and it’s usually only once or twice a week.

I home school my two oldest, I don’t really enjoy it, I’m not very good at it, but I feel like I’m called to do it during this point in their lives and I can’t even imagine sending them to school.

I have 6 kids and feel like God is prompting us to once again expand our family. I am also starting to have a growing heart for adoption but have also been told that my family may already be too large to be approved to add more children to it.

I love babies and want to somehow be involved with them for the rest of my life. I dream about being a midwife, or doula, or NICU nurse but those seem impossible.

I don’t enjoy playing with kids or playing kid games.

I enjoy sewing, but don’t do it very often. I have a lot of material and patterns purchased for all these projects I want to do someday.

My kids wear disposable diapers, I use paper towels and paper napkins. I don’t really care about being green, recycling or eating organic.

I like to save money. Even if it means shopping at 4 grocery stores a week.

My furniture doesn’t match, almost all of it was given to us, I have very few pictures on my walls, decorating is not important to me.

I don’t wear makeup, I feel like I don’t know how, but even if I did, I feel like it’s expensive and my husband doesn’t really care. I’ve never plucked or in any way shaped my eye brows.

I don’t really know how to make my hair look cute. I would love a cute cut, but have no idea what would look flattering.

I wear dresses or skirts to church because I like to even though most women in our church do not. In no way do I feel pressure to do this, and the rest of the week I am typically in sweat pants or pajama pants unless I have to leave the house then I wear jeans.

I am overweight (actually obese according to our Wii) and care only minimally. If I see pictures of myself I think, “Wow, I should lose some weight” but other than that I’m generally happy with myself. It helps that my husband doesn’t seem to mind or care.

I eat when I’m stressed or depressed. I started gaining weight after breaking up with my first serious boyfriend and then gained a lot after my dad passed away. Don’t tell Jillian Michaels, I think she’d yell at me.

I don’t think much about my dad. He passed away 11 years ago, and I don’t think he’d be proud of who I am today, but it’s easier to just not think about it.

I am adamantly opposed to Halloween celebrations in any shape or form including church sponsored Hallelujah nights. I never celebrated it as a child, my children will never celebrate it, but I don’t like conflict so I rarely discuss this with anyone.

My kids watch Disney, PBS shows and Dream Works movies. We don’t have cable, so they don’t watch much else. I think Word World on PBS taught my boys how to read.

My kids play computer games and have club penguin memberships.

My house is almost NEVER clean. Many people say it’s because we have 6 kids, but our house was a mess before kids and I’m sure it will be a mess after kids, of all the rooms in the house our room is BY FAR the worst.

My kids eat sugar cereal for breakfast almost every morning. My kids eat chicken nuggets or corn dogs most days for lunch.

My kids love fast food and have had plenty of happy meals in the lives.

I don’t mind making dinner every night as long as we have a plan in place. I don’t like coming up with a dinner idea at 4 in the afternoon.

I like to have something sweet every day, usually at night after the kids go to bed.

I’m a hypocrite because I make my kids make their beds every day yet my bed is almost never made.

I’m lazy.

I'm not a morning person. My kids wake me up most days and I have a hard time getting out of bed until 8:30 even if they get up at 7:30.

We are in debt. We are working at getting out, but we have more debt than we should and a lot if it is because of foolish selfish impulse purchases.

I spend way too much time on the computer, especially facebook and e-mail. I’ve given up facebook games, but it’s been hard.

I watch T.V. I enjoy Survivor, The Amazing Race, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, The Modern Family, Lie to Me, Hell’s Kitchen, The Biggest Loser. I know I need to give up some of these shows, but so far have lacked the self-discipline to do so.

I don’t have daily quiet times. I know I should, but I don’t.

Every friend I’ve ever felt close with has either left me physically by moving away or emotionally. I’ve mainly felt rejected and shunned by most women and really struggle to make friendships or trust women.

I have a strong and overwhelming fear that Joel will pass away leaving me with all these children to rear. I’m not worried about the financial burden thanks to life insurance, but I do fear the loneliness that losing him would bring.

I’m not sure I truly believe that God cares about me or my life. If I did I think I’d live differently.

I miss my sisters, even though we’ve had rough relationships at times, they are really the only women I know I can trust no matter what. I wish they didn’t live so far away.

I’m not putting this out there to get any kind of pity, I just felt like maybe it would be freeing to let the truth be known.