I have been feeling a bit out of sorts since Samuel's birth. I have always felt a little like I don't fit into the feminine world. I often feel like the way other mothers/wives act is the way I should too, but no matter how hard I tried it wasn't natural for me to act and feel the way I perceived they did. I have a friend who is also struggling with not feeling quite like a fit mother/wife and that she didn't really enjoy doing the wife/mother thing and felt guilty about it.
Joel had been going through the Myers/Briggs personality test at work and had also done it with friends in the past. I had taken the test during a leadership course at Evangel (when I was 18) and again in my studies at CU Denver (when I was 22) for management, but about 5 weeks ago it occurred to me that often the Myers/Briggs Type indicator test is used in the professional realm and occasionally in the personal relationship realm, but I had never seen anything on it for motherhood.
All of this is a long explanation to say that I thought about writing a book on it to see if all the different types (there are 16 Myers/Briggs personality types) of mothers could relate to each other and stop trying to be some other type. Well before I got started on what would entail monumental amounts of research, I thought I should look up my idea on Amazon, and low and behold the book already exists. This discovery saved me a lot of time researching/writing and such.
Motherstyles: Using Personality Type to Discover Your Parenting Strengths by Janet P. Penley and Diane Eble. My local library carried the book, so I didn't have to buy it (although I am considering doing so). This book was like a breath of fresh air. It is not Christian, but it was so helpful to be able to see what type of personality I have and why I often act the way I do and why certain things bug me and so forth. My sister calls it normalizing. It made me feel like I wasn't crazy or the only mother out there who thinks the way I think. Of course this is no excuse to not grow and strengthen certain areas that are weaknesses. I also learned that my type is extremely rare for a woman (i think less than 7% of the population) and that I'd be much more suited to be male, but none the less I am who I am and there are others out there like me. It makes me feel relieved to know that God made me this way on purpose and that he put me in this life situation on purpose and that ALL things WILL work for good according to His plan.
3 comments:
Sounds rather interesting. So, did you check out the book at the library to do the "Mothing Test" of were you able to do it on-line? I may have to see if our library has the book and see what my "style" is (after having practiced it for . . . 15 years).
It is great to read your blog. I feel that it is a semi-good way to stay in touch when children's needs keep us from being able to spend much time chatting at church.
Blessings; Carrie
I never knew you felt this way?? And I'm your sister....that's not right! You are an AMAZING mom! I'm glad you found something that helped you out! I love you Alicia, and I'm proud to have you as a sister and mentor, and friend!
ummmm... I didn't know you were thinking about WRITING the book?! I'm really glad to hear someone else already had :) I'm happy that it's helping, and I don't think you need to buy it - if you already have it from the library, just never return it. Of course, you can't ever go back to that library again, but think of the money you're saving!
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