My two snow bunnies

The boys and I had the opportunity to go skiing this week with their school. I decided that I would be able to teach them how to ski, after all my dad had taught me (when I was 3), so it couldn't be that hard. Right??

We got up early Tuesday morning and headed up the mountain. They were both very excited, but had a lot of questions and didn't know what to expect. It's been 10 years since I've been skiing and as we approached the mountain I was getting less and less confident about my ability to teach them anything and pretty sure I would need a lesson to remember how to ski myself.(Geared up and ready to go -- Bunny Hill behind us)

Many things have changed over the last 10 years, but luckily many things have also remained the same. It was nostalgic to be teaching my sons how to ski on the exact same slope I learned on as a child. One change, when renting skis (and now helmets) it's all digital. This was not the case the last time I rented. They scanned the boot and the ski and adjusted the binding based on the computer in front of them. I was shocked to not have to take off my boot to have it fitted for the ski. I'm sure it's better and easier and more efficient this way, but it was new to me.(Excited to be headed up the mountain for our first run)

After renting we went to get on our gear and it took me half an hour to get snow pants, gloves, hats, coats and boots on the three of us, but then we were off. We decided that I would ride up the lift with one while the other waited at the bottom and then ski down to the other one and ride up with him then we would all ski down together. This plan went off without a hitch and I was pleasantly surprised to find out on my first solo run down that I did to remember how to ski!

(Josiah on the lift with Mom)

I did not, however, have any idea how to teach two young boys to ski. Our first run down was a bit of a disaster with me often yelling towards them, "Fall Down, Fall Down!!" Not knowing how else to get them to not run into the trees. By the end of the run they had each probably fallen over 25 times, although never hard, and each of them got a lot of practice on how to position your skis with the slope before standing up. It was tiring to say the least.

(Josh on the lift with Mom)

I had no idea what I was doing, so I started spying on the paid instructors trying to overhear what they were saying to their students. As a kid I remember something about one leg being peanut butter and the other being jelly, but I think that was because I was learning to ski before I knew my left from right. I tried skiing with Josh between by legs, but he was leaning on me and not balancing himself on his skis and I knew that was going to get us no where.

I saw an instructor with two kids about my kids' ages saying to hold their arms out in front of them to help balance, so that became one thing I would say. "Arms out in front" I knew from feeling how I was skiing that you had to shift pressure from one leg to another in order to turn and that you needed to ride the inner edge of your ski and that a wide "pie" helped you to slow down and stop, but I think I was trying to teach them too many things at once.

Our next run down the mountain was just a touch better and by the third time up the mountain they were wanting to ride the lift without me (even though they hadn't be able to successfully exit the lift without falling over). After our third run we were all a little tired and frazzled, so we went in and had lunch. (Riding up together in front of me)

After some nourishment we were ready to hit the slopes again, although Joshua said, "Just once more and then I'm done for the day." Wonders of wonders, miracles of miracles our first run after lunch was actually a vast improvement. By no means were they perfect, but they were actually turning a little and not falling quite as often. One more run down the bunny hill and they were asking to go up the "big" lift.

I thought, "Well, what could it hurt? They seem to be getting the hang of it. Okay let's try it."

BIGGEST MISTAKE OF THE ENTIRE DAY!!!

We only rode half way up the big lift (very glad for this in hind sight) because it was a lift where you could get off half way or ride it all the way up. The "Zig Zag" trail that was a green was not as wide open as the bunny hill and was also a little more steep. Not a good combination. Josh kept saying, "Mom, we're just beginners." I was just about ready to take off all our skis and walk down as others kept zooming past us, but we did manage to make it to the bottom eventually. We were all pretty emotionally drained at this point.

After a breather at the bottom of the hill and a pep talk from dad we decided to try one more time on the bunny hill and then we would head home. They did AWESOME! It was so good for all of our spirits to end on a high note and not with the defeated feeling Zig Zag had left us with.

They enjoyed it so much they wanted to do one more "last run" and I willingly obliged. Here is a video of the very end of the last run. As you can see they are not perfect, but made great strides in one day considering at the beginning of the day they didn't even know how to put skis on. Josiah is first in the red and white coat, then Josh in the blue and orange.

Overall I am so pleased and happy with the experience. I never really lost my cool although I wanted to several times. The weather cooperated and though it was lightly snowing at times we were warm enough to be sweating and not freezing (which can be just miserable). There were no injuries. AND they want to go again someday! Josh said, "This was waaaaaay more fun than tubing, all the kids should come do this"

(best part of the day, hot chocolate!)

Mommy is not ready for all the kids to be skiing just yet, but it was fun and I'm sure we'll get to do it again someday.

Skiing did make me realize I'm not as young or agile as I once was. All day today my knees have been a little sore and my shoulders as well. After we got home Naomi was talking with me and said, "Mom, how old are you?" I replied, "31" Naomi, "Did you say 71?" Me, "No I said '31', why do I look 71?" Her, "YES!" I'm not sure how that's supposed to make me feel :) Out of the mouth of babes . . . .

Mawwage is what bwings us togever today

Mawwiage, that blessed awangement, that dream within a dream . . . . . and they lived happily ever after . . . right?? Well at least that's how Hollywood says it's supposed to go.

(Yes I realize the date is wrong on this picture it was actually 1998)

This weekend Joel and I attended a marriage conference at Focus on the Family. It was good to hear so many good speakers give a more accurate depiction of marriage. Francis Chan, author of Crazy Love spoke about how instead of focusing on our marriage, we need to make sure our marriage has a focus. He encouraged us to find the purpose and calling for our marriages and that ultimately we were joined together to bring glory to God. It was a moving message that left us feeling challenged and then we realized it was only 8:30 in the morning and we still had 6 more sessions to go, how could it get any better?

Next up were Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot and they talked about your marital love being defined by 3 parts, 1) Passion - the biological side of love 2) Intimacy - the emotional side of love or the feeling of having someone who gets you and 3) commitment - the willful side of love. They reminisced about times in their own lives when kids or careers or life just got in the way of feeling satisfied in their marriage. They encouraged open communication about the 3 areas of love. Their book The Love List talks about small things you can do every day, week, month and year to cultivate a loving relationship with your spouse, that research has shown only gets better and better with time. It's worth hanging in there!

Dr. Gary Chapman author of the 5 Love Languages talked about his new book The 5 Languages of Apology. The thing he spoke on that impacted me the most was when he talked about what forgiveness is not. 1) It does not destroy your memory 2) It does not always end in reconciliation 3) It does not remove all negative consequences 4) It does not remove painful emotions 5) It does not immediately restore trust. I just felt like this was a good reminder that forgiveness is still important and necessary to offer, but does not automatically let someone off the hook. It really is more for your own heart and offering it can help rid yourself of guilt and bitterness.

And then we had lunch!

In the afternoon there were even more good speakers, but probably the best take-aways from the day came from the talk by Dr. Juli Slattery. She talked about power in relationships and that women have power in men's lives by answering these 2 questions that are in men's minds every day 1) Do you believe in me? and 2) Will you be there for me? Likewise the men have power in the women's lives by answering their daily questions which are 1) Do you still love me? and 2) Am I safe with you? It really resonated with both Joel and I and was just something we had never really heard before.

I've often said that because we were so young when we married (Joel was 18 and I was 19) that we kind of grew up together and that if we would have met in our late 20's we might not have connected. The person I am 11 years later is not the person he married, but our commitment to each other is as strong as it has ever been.

I do think marriage can be that "dream within a dream" but it isn't automatic, it does take effort, but it is also so worth it to have someone on this earth who is in your corner and has your back. I can't imagine trudging through life with anyone else.

Where a Kid can be a Kid

Well, today is February 23rd. This is a special day because it is the day 4 years ago that Nathaniel officially joined our family. He is a very sweet little boy and very compliant (most of the time) There were many inquiries as to what he would want for his birthday and it was hard for me to come up with anything specific because he tends to be happy with whatever he is presented with.

For his party we had a long debate over where to go. Josh was pulling for bowling, but at only 35 pounds it's hard to imagine Nathaniel having much fun trying to throw a 6 pound ball down a lane and Joel and I knew that Chuck E. Cheese would be more his speed. Plus every time we talked about bowling he kept saying that Papa would just play for him and it would be so fun! Not sure Papa would agree.

We didn't book a party at the house of mouse and assumed it would be no big deal to show up and find a table (for 14 of us!) and boy was that wrong! This past Sunday was by far the busiest I've ever seen any Chuck E. Cheese in my entire life, but somehow my father-in-law used his magical social skills and got us a table (while others were waiting in line) in the party room.

So here are a few pictures of the 4 year old and his wonderful party.

Waiting for our pizza watching the animitronic CEC mouse.

Naomi posing for the camera.

Riding the roller coaster.

Joshua competing in the Kentucky Derby!
Naomi's turn, look at that intense concentration!

Sam enjoying his ride with Barney.

Josiah Happy to be with his family and eating pizza.Rebekah just got off the "big" slide.Bubba playing air hockey with mom.Cousin Nick enjoying himself as much as a 12-year-old can.

Dad, passing out the tokens.
A rare picture of Papa, almost smiling ;)
Gramma and Sam watching the gifts being opened.

Don't ask me why he wanted a sail boat cake, he wanted chocolate with strawberries and when he saw the sail boat in my cake book his mind was made up. So I obliged and made him his sail boat :) Happy Birthday Bubba, it's hard to believe your 4!

Strategic Plan

Let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.
~ Romans 12:6, The Message

In light of the last several posts, I felt like this verse just spoke to me. I know that The Message is not a true translation, but the truth in the words resonated with me.

How is your 2010 going so far? Surprisingly ours is moving forward at a nice pace. On our cruise in December Joel and I read a book The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni. In this book he talks about running your family the way you run a business, which may sound cold, but the idea is to have plans and objectives for your family and personal life instead of just cruising through life without direction.

So, we came home from the cruise and made a Strategic Family Plan. It took us a month or so to nail down where we wanted to be headed over the next several months. We wrote a mission statement, came up with a rallying cry and defined objectives that we want to see prioritized in our actions over the next several months. Our plan has been in place for about 3 weeks and it has been freeing to know where we are headed. The point of all of this is to help in decision making for your family to help determine what is "good" but may not be "best"

There are many examples in the book about families choosing to give up things for a time or maybe forever if it doesn't fit in with their mission statement or defining objectives. It's definitely a very managerial way of looking at your family, but so far has proven to be helpful. It is pointing us in the direction we would like to go, kind of a rudder on the ship of life.

Once a week, for us on Monday nights, we sit down and have a short 10 minute "meeting" to go over our strategic plan and discuss if we are moving forward in the areas we want to or if we need to readjust and change some priorities.

I feel like the verse above in Romans relates to this idea of strategic planning because it helps us to just be ourselves, who we are, who God created us (as a family) to be and not to worry about what the ______'s are doing as a family. Not only had God created us each individually to be different, but he created our families to be and to be run differently. There is often a charge to find out what God had called us individually to be or do with our lives, but I've not heard too many encouragements to find the calling for our families. I also feel like gaining a sense of direction as a family unit has helped me to personally define some of my priorities and objectives.

We were able to check the book out at our local library. I wouldn't say this is a "you have to own this book" but it is a quick and easy read and has really brought some clarity to our lives. There have been mixed reviews from others who have read it, some positive, some less enthusiastic about Lencioni's writing style, but it is an easy read and everyone I've talked to has walked away with the feeling that making a plan for their families is indeed a good idea.

So go on being who you are and don't worry about comparing yourself to others. You are unique and that makes you special.

Super Sunday

I found it interesting the response to the previous posts. There are several people who have commented that I don't blog anymore, yet they didn't comment on the blog addition. Where did you go?

Generally speaking men's reaction to the information was very positive, while women's reactions was more worried for me. Maybe it's the nurturing part of women? I had several women who were generally concerned that I was losing it.

The most encouraging comment I received was that the information was merely information and it's very healthy to get the truth out as long as it didn't fall into judgment of myself. I honestly didn't feel like I was judging myself in most areas, just stating facts, but women tended to see it as being judgmental while men took it merely as facts.

Yes I may have had a tendency to focus on the "negative" instead of the positive aspects of my personality, but I was just trying to be honest and fight the perception that I'm the perfect homeschooling mother whose home is always clean, my kids never fight, or never watch T.V. ect, ect, ect. . . So for me it was good and freeing and that's all I'm going to say about that.

I don't have anything profound for today, just some pictures of the kids on Super Bowl Sunday. It's been awhile since I've posted pictures and thought you might enjoy looking them over. Hope all of your Sunday's were Super!

Josiah and Joshua snuggled on the couch watching the action.
Nathaniel, Naomi and Rebakah coloring during the game, much more entertaining.
Samuel hanging out at the bottom of the stairs, remote in hand.

and a few others. . .

Start with the post below, then come up to this after, it'll make more sense that way :)

Edit to add: I thought of a few others . . .

I yell at my kids, not all the time, but more often than I should.

My favorite thing every day is checking the mail. I truly stalk the mailman. Our mail is never in the box for more than about 5 minutes unless I'm not home when he comes, I go crazy on holidays checking it repeatedly forgetting it's not coming. We don't get anything exciting in the mail, mainly junk, but I love it anyway.

I also obsessively check our bank account about 7 times a day either online or via phone teller. They only post transactions twice a day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon, but I always check just to make sure.

My kids don't know how to ride a 2 wheel bike. The older 3 are 7, 6, and 5 so I feel like they should, but they can't.

Who am I?

I feel like I often hide behind the perception of me that other people have. Many of their perceptions are false. Here is the truth of who I am.

Wife

Mother

Woman

Yet I don’t think I’m good at being any of these.

I’m 31 and married to a man who is 30, my kids and husband love to razz me about being the oldest member of the family.

I've been married for 11 1/2 years to my high school sweetheart. We got married at 18 and 19 and I love him more than I ever thought possible.

I’m introverted, I usually only leave the house because I have to and it’s usually only once or twice a week.

I home school my two oldest, I don’t really enjoy it, I’m not very good at it, but I feel like I’m called to do it during this point in their lives and I can’t even imagine sending them to school.

I have 6 kids and feel like God is prompting us to once again expand our family. I am also starting to have a growing heart for adoption but have also been told that my family may already be too large to be approved to add more children to it.

I love babies and want to somehow be involved with them for the rest of my life. I dream about being a midwife, or doula, or NICU nurse but those seem impossible.

I don’t enjoy playing with kids or playing kid games.

I enjoy sewing, but don’t do it very often. I have a lot of material and patterns purchased for all these projects I want to do someday.

My kids wear disposable diapers, I use paper towels and paper napkins. I don’t really care about being green, recycling or eating organic.

I like to save money. Even if it means shopping at 4 grocery stores a week.

My furniture doesn’t match, almost all of it was given to us, I have very few pictures on my walls, decorating is not important to me.

I don’t wear makeup, I feel like I don’t know how, but even if I did, I feel like it’s expensive and my husband doesn’t really care. I’ve never plucked or in any way shaped my eye brows.

I don’t really know how to make my hair look cute. I would love a cute cut, but have no idea what would look flattering.

I wear dresses or skirts to church because I like to even though most women in our church do not. In no way do I feel pressure to do this, and the rest of the week I am typically in sweat pants or pajama pants unless I have to leave the house then I wear jeans.

I am overweight (actually obese according to our Wii) and care only minimally. If I see pictures of myself I think, “Wow, I should lose some weight” but other than that I’m generally happy with myself. It helps that my husband doesn’t seem to mind or care.

I eat when I’m stressed or depressed. I started gaining weight after breaking up with my first serious boyfriend and then gained a lot after my dad passed away. Don’t tell Jillian Michaels, I think she’d yell at me.

I don’t think much about my dad. He passed away 11 years ago, and I don’t think he’d be proud of who I am today, but it’s easier to just not think about it.

I am adamantly opposed to Halloween celebrations in any shape or form including church sponsored Hallelujah nights. I never celebrated it as a child, my children will never celebrate it, but I don’t like conflict so I rarely discuss this with anyone.

My kids watch Disney, PBS shows and Dream Works movies. We don’t have cable, so they don’t watch much else. I think Word World on PBS taught my boys how to read.

My kids play computer games and have club penguin memberships.

My house is almost NEVER clean. Many people say it’s because we have 6 kids, but our house was a mess before kids and I’m sure it will be a mess after kids, of all the rooms in the house our room is BY FAR the worst.

My kids eat sugar cereal for breakfast almost every morning. My kids eat chicken nuggets or corn dogs most days for lunch.

My kids love fast food and have had plenty of happy meals in the lives.

I don’t mind making dinner every night as long as we have a plan in place. I don’t like coming up with a dinner idea at 4 in the afternoon.

I like to have something sweet every day, usually at night after the kids go to bed.

I’m a hypocrite because I make my kids make their beds every day yet my bed is almost never made.

I’m lazy.

I'm not a morning person. My kids wake me up most days and I have a hard time getting out of bed until 8:30 even if they get up at 7:30.

We are in debt. We are working at getting out, but we have more debt than we should and a lot if it is because of foolish selfish impulse purchases.

I spend way too much time on the computer, especially facebook and e-mail. I’ve given up facebook games, but it’s been hard.

I watch T.V. I enjoy Survivor, The Amazing Race, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, The Modern Family, Lie to Me, Hell’s Kitchen, The Biggest Loser. I know I need to give up some of these shows, but so far have lacked the self-discipline to do so.

I don’t have daily quiet times. I know I should, but I don’t.

Every friend I’ve ever felt close with has either left me physically by moving away or emotionally. I’ve mainly felt rejected and shunned by most women and really struggle to make friendships or trust women.

I have a strong and overwhelming fear that Joel will pass away leaving me with all these children to rear. I’m not worried about the financial burden thanks to life insurance, but I do fear the loneliness that losing him would bring.

I’m not sure I truly believe that God cares about me or my life. If I did I think I’d live differently.

I miss my sisters, even though we’ve had rough relationships at times, they are really the only women I know I can trust no matter what. I wish they didn’t live so far away.

I’m not putting this out there to get any kind of pity, I just felt like maybe it would be freeing to let the truth be known.